Silence

So you go to the movies, and there appears the words "Silence is golden". Oh yeah, movie, don't interrupt, sure. But this phrase made its way into my head somehow, and I catch myself thinking about it in class, at home, all day, at night. Why does it stick so much?

I was used to walking into a class, and everyone would just turn, and stare. That silence, is that golden? I plop down on a seat, and I see my desk-mate move to the far side of the table, acting like I was radioactive. That silence, is THAT golden? The stares hurt, I feel like tearing up, showing them how much the compressed pain really feels. Am I covered in poison, what have i ever done to ruin their lives? I walk down the hall, and there comes a hush over the lockers. I feel like I'm glowing, with everyone turning their heads at the sight of me. Everything I touch is contaminated. That silence, is that golden? Only through pain are we toughened. 

Next week, on the 12th, it will be my birthday. I would be 13. You know how nobody has ever done anything JUST FOR ME, ever, on my birthday? I get waves, smiles, hugs, but nothing true. I get silence a lot. That silence is all for me. Are all silences golden? Even the ones that hurt? Even the ones that show hatred? How could someone have their music on blast, and still hear nothing? In a world of a deaf person, what is silence? Is that silence golden too? Well this took me 3 years to find. Silence, is a time of NOTHING. You can make it anything you want to, think anything you want to. The silence they send me, was an offering of their hate. They think that, but I think the opposite. I have a choice. "What makes a boy a man? It's the decisions he makes, the choices he make." ~Hellboy. 

The silence I send back, is not "I know I'm better than all of you, so I just don't care." I guess one thing I learnt the hard way is just to choose to think : I am my own person. I can't tell you who I am, can you? The silence is a time of nothing, and if you focus hard, all silences can be as innocent as you wish, because you chose to think that way. 

Silence is a time to think and reflect in a way no words could describe. The quiet kid speaks all of a sudden with surprising wisdom, and nothing can explain that, but silence. Silence, is a magic. Silence, is golden, but sometimes you can't see that. What is going on in their heads, you don't know. Somethings are better left unspoken, and that's why silence is there. Silence is that moment that really can transform you. Silence, is so subtle, yet so powerful. It is more than golden, it is a miracle in itself. 


Please email me at hopeforthestargazers@gmail.com, comment and share. 
Till next time, 
Victoria Lee