So someone comes up to you, when you are busy trying to shut out the world, make your own little city, where everything could be as you like, in your dreams you can be anyone, anything, anywhere, and that someone just comes, and sits with you, asking to join your world. That world you made from the shards of your broken heart. That someone comes, and shows you how there is still good in the real world, and tells you that even in your perfect little planet you have made, sometimes its not enough. Fear draws you back, because you have never left that safety.
Do not shut out the world...? Why? No, Why NOT? People are cruel. The other someones that come to you, are almost always those who make you feel like crap. And then they just, leave. Sometimes, that hurts. Well, it always does, it just depends how much it hurts.
But that one someone who actually stayed there for me, was JESUS. He came up, and just sat with me. I mean, who would do that? I buried myself in books, four a day, ever since 4th grade. I felt like I would never be sick of this little world I so carefully made. I didn't care, didn't know anything outside, I was content. It was so addictive, it was just book after book. People who called me names, who made me suffer, who looked down on me, were drowned out by robin hood, animal farm, hatchet, the loner... I was fine. But why couldn't I just see there was more?
I had my face shoved into a novel each time, and I never looked up. I scoured the racks, devouring one after the other, and all that time, blocked out that someone, knocking on the door. The walls I built up, brick by brick, book by book, line by line, letter by letter, shut out not only the hurt, but the love, and the Lord. I have been looking so hard for someone to leech on, to walk with me, to help me, and I was so selfish. What I really needed to look for, has long been here. I just needed to turn the door, and let that someone in.
Please email me at hopeforthestargazers@gmail.com, comment and share.
Till next time,
Victoria Lee
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