Love

Here's a bigger topic. Love. What does it mean? The prince charming on the white horse, the love of your life? Your parents, who were always looking after you, your siblings who always stood on your side? Maybe not. I know I'm "too young" to be talking about this deep mystery of life. But maybe that's what draws me most to it. 

Some call it chemistry, some call it weakness. I thought someone I knew was a huge flirt, I mean it makes sense, but I think toying around with something so potentially dangerous is, dangerous. Maybe it's for the adrenaline rush? I wonder what true love is. I never performed a sign to anyone, always bearing a poker face. Fear maybe? At least that's what made me a stargazer. I'm not here to sell myself to the media, to attract anyone with what I can do, as far as I know, I have never met anyone who loved me before. That "flirt" met me one day, and turns out she is one of the smartest people I know.We had a decent conversation, and I found out the whole time I was judging her before. I have been judging love. I realize I have been somehow sucked into this huge media of rumors, and the one thing I thought I had nothing to do with have somehow got a hold of me. 

Somebody once said to me: Have you ever had a guy look you straight in the eye and say I love you? Well I think saying that is giving one your heart. Many times I have found myself cursing out under my breath about pity, about jealousy and grudges. I have been anchored in logic so much, I feel my heart is truly a weakness. I can tell you, so many times I just wanted to rip my heart out, and leave it on the pavement, and walk on with what I know, because I think, I know then I will be so much stronger. No, the answer hit me hard. I thought I'd ripped it out, but what remains remain, even the smallest shard of love grows silently like a cancer. I find too late that I had fallen on a stupid trap set by the human heart. Ah, you barely even notice it. the silken thread is actually a death snare. 

In the vicinity of love, you are in the vicinity of death. Never let your guard down, because prince charming hides a dagger that will cut you heart in half. Love is a flame, it can provide warmth, light the way, show you what could lie ahead, but love can burn, leaving you in ashes for the wind to scatter. Love is... Love. So beware who you give your heart to. Over and over again you give your heart to someone, and over and over again you are wounded. Each deeper than the last. "I wonder why we bother with love if it never lasts"~ Taylor Swift. Is it really worth the gamble? The risk? I can wonder. But will I ever find out myself? I've heard love is so complicated you have to find out by being hurt. I'm still cutting my way through other thorns and thickets, so love must wait. But really, tell me, what is human love? 

Right now, I can only confirm the love of god. But have anyone even felt true, undying human love before, not from you parents or siblings? But someone you met along the walk of life, and really loved? What triggers human to love? Love is truly, the most powerful force, the biggest weakness, the best poison and the worst thing and the best thing that could ever happen to anyone. Why? because love does not exist on earth, what we call love, is lust. Only through god's name can we truly LOVE, and truly be loved. Anything else, no matter how beautiful it is, is lust. So, longest post so far. But love is a big thing, a global issue. I'm going to end with one of my statuses another stargazer emailed me to post.

" Never trust your heart. Those you feel are miracles sent by angels are perfect weapons to use against you. Those you depend on most shove you down and turn on you when you least expect it. Those you treasure most stab you deepest. Those you trust most lash out the most severe betrayals. Those you loved and thought loved back draw the most blood. But those you never loved are harmless to you for they can only laugh. The true reason why you re slowly dying in agony is because you loved. Just look at Jesus... So to everyone out there, be careful who you love, and how you love. Be careful of Love."~ Me


Please email me at hopeforthestargazers@gmail.com, comment and share. 
Till next time, 
Victoria Lee